"And let not your adornment be merely external - braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God". I Peter 3:3,4
I've been doing a lot of thinking about beauty in the life of women. Beauty means many things to many people and upon examination of the scriptures, God has more than a little to say about it. I love this passage in I Peter because it acknowledges that outer beauty is important, yet not more important than inner qualities.
Remember the story of Esther? In Esther 2:7 talks about how Esther was "beautiful in form and face" and verse 9 says that the King was so pleased with her, he provided her with cosmetics and food.
Just looking at these two references, we can see that a certain amount of beauty got these women 'in the door', so to speak. Later, their inner qualities were revealed.
I think this speaks volumes in terms of "How Should We Then Look?". Outer beauty may be what opens a door to further opportunity, yet without an inner beauty, we could be compared to a swine with a gold ring in it's nose. We need both.
How does this translate into our worlds of husbands, busy schedules, small children, pregnancy, nursing, school, home businesses, sports/practices, meal-planning, and the list goes on and on...? The answer will be a personal one. What fits one woman won't fit the next, so to speak. However, here are a few thoughts to consider:
Who are you at this stage of your life? What is your style? What are some ways to spruce up your look with these things considered? How would a small change like a new haircut, fresh color of lipgloss or a snazzy color of nail color make you feel?? Taking a small step can refresh your outlook while you consider other changes you may want to make.
I have decided to accept myself the way I am. I weigh more than I want to or need to. I should lose this weight and eventually will, especially for the health reasons involved. However, for now I've decided to embrace where I'm at and buy clothes that fit me now. Maybe I'll lose the weight in 6 months or 6 years, but I'm going to feel good about myself, now. Goodwill and sales give me the ability to rework my wardrobe for pennies compared to mall prices. If I want different clothes when and if I lose the weight, some new pieces won't break the bank.
So here I am, a 47 year-old mother of 9 who is about 15 lb. overweight. I have some thinning hair from many pregnancies. I have fat knees. So what? I also am very busy during the day and can end my day with a number of stains on my shirt and possibly some peanut butter in my hair. So? I choose to find styles that flatter the figure I have. I chose a hairstyle that works with the structure of my hair, is simple and touchable. I chose jeans that work for me. I look for styles that don't cover me up, rather compliment who I am...and are washable! I put on my earrings and make-up and present myself ready for my day. My job is important. I'm leaving my children with an image of motherhood that will be with them all of their lives. I want them to see Mom feeling good about herself and what she does all day.
What thoughts does this bring to mind? Do you agree or disagree? I want to hear from you!
Next up for Part 3: Our Men and How They Feel About How We Look!
Said
Kelly - I agree that appearance can have an impact on your mothering. My kids see me all day long since I homeschool them too. Recently we saw Ms. Frizzle, the crazy science teacher in a neat book series and noticed how here outfit always coordinates with the science she is teaching (like wearing fish earrings and shoes wih sponges on them when she is teaching science). My kids loved looking at what she was wearing. I remembered my school days and liking my teacher's clothes. The way you dress does impact the way you carry out your resposibilies, I agree with that. I believe it also sends a message to others about how you view what you are doing. Is it important? Ms. Frizzle dressed to the nines for her students. I started to wonder what message I am sending to my kids by what I wear. Never thought of that before. NOt ready to give up my elastic waist velour leisure suit but I try now to throw on some earrings, style my hair a bit, etc even if I am only going to be at home.
Said
LOVE your comment! I think Miss Frizzle is a hoot and a great example, however fictitous. Her outfit always matches the field trip, down to her earrings! Ha!
I have 2 sweaters from Christopher Banks, one with a cup of hot chocolate on front and marshmallows on back. The other with a cardinal on front, then a twig with berries on the back. They are frumpy sweaters, but like you said, with earrings and hair, I still feel put together. Anyway, my kids LOVE to 'feed' the cardinal, they pretend to pluck a berry off the back and feed him. Same for the hot chocolate and the marshmallows. Kind of silly, I know, but they just love it when I wear them. Miss Frizzle, move over! :)
Again, it's so personal! I appreciate your comments. Sign in so I can know your name!
Kelly
Said
Kelly,
Thanks for posting on this topic. I do some work at my daughter's gym so each day that I am there I have to wear what is required - comfy athletic gear!! Problem for me has been that I love comfy athletic clothing and it is a "no brainer" as to what to wear when we start our homeschooling day. Thanks for encouraging us to give a bit more thought into how we present ourselves. Made me think today!
Becky
Said
Made me think today too....
"I'm leaving my children with an image of motherhood that will be with them all of their lives"
This really hit home with me. You see, I've always thought that if I ever have a little girl I'm going to have to get my act together so she doesn't think "comfy clothes" are the only way to dress. My mom had a daycare in our home while I was growing up and all I ever saw her in were sweatclothes and T-shirts. In highschool and college all I ever wore were t-shirts and comfy clothes.
I still have trouble figuring out how to dress "girly" and it's something I really want to do because it makes me feel good among this house of all boys:) It never occured to me that I was leaving an impression of that on the boys as well.
And, the reality is that I could have a newborn at the same time as teenagers so I really need to change the way I think. Instead of "I'll put more effort into my appearance when the kids are older I need to figure out how to look nice in the reality of spit-up and sticky toddler hands.
Thanks for the inspiration.
warmly,
Taryn
Said
Hello! I came by from somehwere I can't remember and I'm enjoying your blog. My husband and I are just applying for our Ethiopian adoption! Do you know how Amharic is pronouced itself? Is it aahm -aric or am aric? Thanks!
Said
To answer Jessica's question, I don't know. :) I heard it pronounced both ways. Understand that Amharic is a semetic language and it is VERY, did I say VERY difficult to pronounce correctly. I just gave up. When my linguistics majoring daughter explained to me that we form our language's sound while we are infants, learning to use our tongues to make sounds. Beyond childhood, it's extremely difficult to learn them. That made me feel so much better. SO, go easy on yourself and get a translator! :)
Thanks, Taryn for your perspective also. You made some great points.
Kelly